翁公在厨房和我猛烈撞击

Chapter 180 – Abandoning Humanity?

"You were amazing, young miss," admired one of the guildsmen. "I always admired your intellect but never thought that you had such useful abilities."

This bootlicking has been happening ever since Cecily scared away the monster. The ironic thing is that she did not even remember it but was traumatized instead.

The illusion that he made her see made her confused. The dark being could have sacrificed her, but he did not. Instead, he taught her a lesson.

That did not make sense. Cecily knew that the best way to kill a lamb is to make it trust you, not the other way around. It seems this dark being was angry that she even trusted him.

\'Does that make it trustable?\' she was conflicted. Her suspicions were there before he attempted anything, and they stemmed out of her fear.

However, her suspicions wavered when he showed her that nightmare. It still felt real, and she would never forgive him for that, but a question demanded an answer: can this dark being be trusted?

\'In this thesis, I will discuss…\'

Cecily imagined herself writing in her notebook. It always helped her gather her thoughts, but now she did not have them. That was why she needed to think of clues herself and memorize them to draw a conclusion.

"How old are you, young miss?" asked the creepy guy who kept flirting with her. Cecily was used to this kind of unwanted attention, but the timing made her feel murderous. However, before she ignored him, Cecily remembered her task. Her mother taught her that no easier prey there was than an infatuated man.

"Twenty, good sir," she replied with a sweet smile. The sudden attention brought the man a jolt of surprise. "I want to know more about the team we are traveling with. Other than you, I fear the rest are not fit for the mission."

"Hehe, miss Cecily has good eyes," laughed the man, and it drew attention from the rest. Thus, he lowered his voice. "We are ten in this team, but there is another team that we are meeting. You can say that we are reinforcements."

"How reliable!" she wanted to puke.

"Haha, that is what they call me," said the man with pride. "The Vangir Guild has many teams, which is ranked among the highest. However, as you said, I have some qualms about some members."

Cecily nodded with a smile, keeping her ear strained to memorize everything he said. As she expected, this kind of man who harasses girls is always the one who would put others down as soon as he can.

"That man has a terrible aim, and that horse with a ponytail thinks he is some swords master. As for the captain," the man kept going about strength and what-not.

Cecily quickly realized that his information was useless. It all mentioned strength and body odor and whatever instead of the members\' characters.

Furthermore, it seems that there was another team that was already there. The guild sent this team even though the original one did not ask for help, which made her suspicious.

As the dark being said, there might be a spy, and they were in this team. This halves her suspects to ten, but the trip was too short for her to narrow it down to one.

The man was still blathering, nitpicking the others to make them look bad. Cecily genuinely wondered what this man wanted to get from getting close to her, enough to make him spill everything about his team.

\'Then, my prime suspect is you,\' she decided while looking at the man. He seemed too idiotic to be a spy, but appearances can be deceiving.

"As for me, I hail from the great northern tribes. I am the son of Azmiar, who killed the great dragon that terrorized our beloved kingdom."

Cecily did not have to ask, and the man was already talking about himself. However, from his words, she started to recognize his identity. His goatee beard was unique, and his thin appearance was indeed someone she recognized.

Her notebook should have recordings about the great families in the north, and she remembered what she wrote. There was indeed the son of Azmair in the Vangir Guild, but his mention was in passing.

Her clues were too few for her to find the spy. The suspects all had backstories that verified their identity, so it was hard to decide which one was more suspicious.

However, the spy should be someone who recently joined their team. Abani Ruins were a recent discovery, hailed as one of the most promising ancient ruins in the kingdom.

"I want to know which one joined recently," she asked, and the man did not suspect a thing as he tried to think. Then, he turned in a specific direction. When she followed his gaze, the person was also looking back at her.

***

Nikolai yawned as the Ghoul carried him. Then, his Fragment the presence of living humans, or more precisely, Lost Souls. This attempt to lead this guild staggered the growth of his army, and it was bugging him.

"Then, it is time for a little meal," he smiled as he summoned his skeleton and the notebook back into his pocket dimension.

The guild behind him stopped, but Nikolai decided that Cecily would have to think of an excuse. After leaving one of his skeletons, Nikolai led the rest of them toward the humans.

Nikolai saw that it was a merchant\'s caravan using his stealth. These people were not bandits like those he killed earlier, but innocent people who simply wanted to cross the darkness.

"I never killed for this reason before," frowned Nikolai. "I was given orders before, and somehow, it made things easier. I always had reasons to kill innocent people, but rarely was its strength."

Nikolai felt like this was a deciding moment for him. It was not easy to find people in this darkness, away from humans. However, it was also a dark path to take.

"This can either make me a villain or a man of reason," he sighed. The choice was difficult to make, for Nikolai did not think of himself as a villain.

Nikolai knew that everyone he ever knew would look at him differently once he took this path. There will be no redemption for him anymore, and it was a leap into a dark path.

However, things have changed. Nikolai cannot keep killing rotten villains because that would limit his strength. It made him question why evil paths led to power faster.

"Redemption, huh?" smiled Nikolai as he shook his head. "I am still too naive to believe that there is redemption for me. I killed many people before, but that has been undone. However, the actions that I committed will forever leave their marks within me."

Nikolai took out his weapons as his fangs grew out. Darkness gathered around his horns as his bloodlust reached unprecedented heights. There was only one aim: to kill.

His undead appeared beside him as he left his darkness. All of them were ready to devour these people, craving the flesh of the living. Nikolai was the first to rush forward, prepared to kill his first victim.

The caravan was getting closer as Nikola was getting further away from a life where he could find happiness. As his twin scimitars slashed apart the air, Nikolai managed to see their faces.

A young woman turned to look his way as if sensing his existence. Nikolai flinched as he saw her face, and along with his undead, turned to smoke.

The people were confused as the darkness rushed into the holy light, but then it disappeared. The young woman looked for a long time into the darkness as if she was looking for someone.

***

"Why is she here?" Nikolai looked toward the ground of his pocket dimension after hiding like a rat. The face he saw was one that he recognized from his past life.

However, it did not make sense to him why she was here at this time. Nikolai wanted to abandon that life, to be a monster who sought strength, and to destroy any weakness his heart had.

Yet, time and time again, he proved that he could never change. He was still a child begging to be liked enough by someone for them to accept him.

"I killed her once before," his hands shook. "I cannot do it again. This is too cruel, far too cruel. I am so weak. I am still," his tears fell, "so fucking weak."

Nikolai wanted to be strong, and he wanted to abandon whatever linked him to humanity. His weakness stemmed from his heart, and he knew that he would have to rip it out for him to change it.

However, Nikolai knew that he could not attack these people at that moment. There was no way for him to grow out of this weakness now. Nikolai can attack others, and he can kill countless people.. However, he will always be the same.